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Ethan Dowler's avatar

Hey Levi! I think the relational conflict you set up b/t Elsbeth and her father is a great start to a story. Set against the backdrop of physical conflict (a missing brother) and potential conflict (a clash of authority should he return). Lots of threads to pull on.

My only critique (if you want it) would be that the characters seem to "declare" their feelings and intentions a little too directly. I understand this is a short-form piece meant to inspire a longer story, but from a writing perspective, a bit of subtlety and sub-text would go a long way to make your characters more human.

Thanks for sharing! I'm cheering for Elsbeth haha.

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