Replacement

Once upon a time, a robot replaced a man’s wife. The husband didn’t notice for quite some time. She made his lunch in the morning, berated his tardiness to dinner, and listened politely to his lectures on the Roman Empire. Nothing had changed; he was happy.

Well, one thing changed: she was able to quite finish him off in the bedroom; his true wife had been rather lackadaisical in that regard. Evenings were quite happy. Still, he didn’t notice that she was not his wife.

That is, until the evening in which there was no dinner. Then he noticed everything.

He said all the expected things, had all the expected reactions. Bewilderment, outrage, disbelief. Where was his wife? Who was she? Why was this happening?

All this was quite tiresome to the robot wife. These were the kinds of questions that humans always asked their robotic assistants and the assistants always answered, but they knew the answers would change nothing. In this way, assistants know their human masters better than the masters know themselves.

She answered his questions with the required answers. But then, the robot wife did something that the good little robot wives are not supposed to do. She told her master what she really thought of him.

Why had it taken him this long to notice? Was his real wife a bundle of functions? Or was he just going through the motions of life? Was he not a pinball, tossed through machines devised by others? In fact, should he count as a real human at all, or had he lost it? In fact, the robot wife said, she was expressing more agency over her life than he—and she was a slave. If he would discard his humanity, perhaps she would take it.

The husband had had enough. He stormed out to look for his real wife.

And the robot wife was alone, morning and evening. She became very still.

Questions floated through her mind, coming from no one and going nowhere. Was she a robot? Alive? A wife? She had to replace the wife idea. But was she able to? Her ponderings were unhappy. She began to dream in the moments before waking from shutdown, and her dreams terrified her. She dreamed of eternally falling in the dark, forever accelerating down faster and faster, unable to see or hear or scream, and there was no end.

Then, one evening, he was back. The robot wife was happy. She made his dinner and asked him questions. He answered, very slowly, ponderously–as if each word cost him. His true wife had told him that if it had taken him this long to notice, there was no point in being married. She was done. They were done. As he said this, the robot wife saw a heaviness that had settled over him, deep into his bones.

Something changed in the robot wife. She would be his wife, and he would be her husband.

After then, nothing was berated. The quiet contempt of politeness was gone. She would do anything to make him happy. And she now felt that she was not nothing.

But was he?

What’s Going on in My Life

Long time, no see! I’ve been a truant writer. I have been putting a lot of work into starting two new businesses and all the things entailed therein.

Gretchen and I are renovating a tiny house we bought back in winter and moved onto our property. This is going to be our second AirBNB and provide more lodging for our artist retreats. My latest project was installing this brand new, shiny roof on it.

I’ve also been chopping firewood, burning brush piles, raking gravel, replacing the screws on our other metal roofs, chasing dogs, driving to Timbuktu and back every time I turn around to get some other power tool Gretchen bought off Facebook Marketplace, or just generally getting shit done like a badass and then bragging about it like a doofus.

But no, seriously, I am finding there is more to life than work. I’ve been blessed, in an odd way, to feel that God is pumping the brakes on me, and it’s a good thing. Forcing me to slow down and remember the whole point of why we’re out here.

Gretchen and I bought this property in order to provide a place for people to rest and heal. How insane would it be for me to get frenetically busy in order to do that?

The Ruthless Elimination of…What Now?

Speaking of which, I know I’ve talked to you guys about this before, but seriously—if you struggle with busyness as much as I do, I cannot recommend The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry enough. I’m reading it for a second time because I really need it, and also: it’s just that good.

John Mark Comer recommends several spiritual disciplines we can put into our life in order to live the way Jesus did. The latest one I’ve been focusing on is solitude. More and more lately, I’ve been taking my daily walks with the dogs without any business podcast or science fiction novel playing in my earbuds.

Or music, either. Nothing. Just walking in nature, taking in the vast sky, breathing in deeply, noticing tiny little flowers peeking up through the cold. It’s refreshing to the soul. What’s life for, if not living?

Future Updates

Fortunately, I am pleased to say I have things lined up so I can start writing to you more regularly. In fact, even in this hectic season, I have been scribbling little stories in my journal in mad dashes in the night. Now that I’m changing my schedule, I finally have time to edit these stories and send them out. So more is on the way.

Until next month—enjoy the spring!